I thought I had the right copy of my marriage certificate so as to go get my name changed. I was not correct. After cursing other Social Security office patrons for stealing parking spots I had wanted for about fifteen minutes (the Mt. Prospect office parking lot fails), I finally parked elsewhere, signed in, and thought myself ready to go. Alas, after an hour of waiting, I was told I needed the certificate with the seal before I can get a new card. So I guess I'll be back next Friday, if they are open.

I did get a nice drive home out of the deal, though. And on a lovely day like today, that's a great thing.

I'm working on getting some work done around the house today rather than just sit around. Crazy, I know. What's my deal?

What I've done so far:

--cleaned kitchen
--started laundry
--organised list of RSVP cards in order I will write thank yous
--cleaned off desk
--moved wedding photos from FB to computer; will start burning to CDs this weekend

It's not much, but it's a start. I feel good.

But also very tired. Time to make more coffee.

Go home. Please go home. It is your day off. This is at least the second week in a row you've not taken your day off. It may be more like the fourth week, if you worked all your days off when I was away. There is absolutely no reason for you to be here, despite what you think. Whatever you are here to do can and should feasibly wait until tomorrow. You are injured. You are frustrated. You do not need to have your hand in every single pie. You do not need to be directly involved in every single thing I do. You do not need to hover over my shoulder while I complete a task you assigned me. You are making it hard to work here. You are making my job way more difficult than it needs to be. I am sick of walking on pins and needles around you. I am sick of you telling me to do things one way and then changing it the next day. I don't know what to do except slough through each day and hope to God I don't screw up unintentionally. Just please go home. Work will get done while you're gone. I can promise this. Just please go away. Please please please. You do not need to rifle through papers I just looked through page by page with you over my shoulder to be sure something is or isn't there. Please go home.

Thank God I am out of here at two.

I don't feel well about today. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's something I cannot control. But something just does not feel right. I would give a great deal to not leave the house today.

Obviously, I cannot do that. I will go in and face whatever's making my gut feel all wrong today. But I know for a fact that I'll be facing the day on edge. Here's hoping my feeling's wrong.

More coffee, hair straightening, early lunch, then off we go.

We are trying, slowly but surely, to get the house in order. It should not be as hard as it is, but it is. We are by nature pack rats, so it is harder than it seems to get rid of things. Definitely had a few "just throw it out" moments yesterday, though, so it's a step.

One of our main problems right now, besides storage for those things we are not parting with, is our lack of garbage/recycling cans. We will probably be throwing away boxes from wedding gifts and etc. for the next two months at the rate we are going. It is somewhat frustrating. But it is the way it must be. Unlike Chicago, most suburbs are pretty firm about recycling, so we cannot just throw the recycling into the garbage bins or vice versa. Well, I suppose we could, but I am not willing to find out what will happen. Probably our wrongly-placed refuse will be left for us to sort out for the next week, something we definitely do not want.

Thankfully, the kitchen is somewhat in order. We need to do naught but keep it clean, because I spent an entire day reorganizing it. The living room is going to pose a minor difficulty, and this is more than problematic. We are looking to move two large pieces of furniture in there over the next few weeks, and that room in particular has to be done by December 5th. I want the living room and the kitchen, the two rooms most used by our guests, to be ready for Christmas by the last Gaming League event of the year. Dining room table in, rooms decorated, all that jazz. That will make for a work intensive next two weekends, but we will get it done. Everything will look very nice for all of our events in December, and I will be a happy girl.

I submitted my proposed schedule for the next few months to my boss. Here's hoping all will be approved. This will make planning December much easier.

Time to buckle down to work. Already have a lot done, but still much remains.

I beat Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. Now I want to restart Kingdom Hearts 2. Sigh.

I might actually be caught up with work. Finally. Now, I'm trying to get ahead of myself again. I am also avoiding phone calls. Nothing out of the ordinary, really.

Went out with two choir members for an impromptu dinner at Chilis. It was nice, because I could sit and socialize and gossip and whatnot. It did delay my arrival home, and it also made for a nearly 10 hour day downtown. I pretty much crashed as soon as I got in the door. And needless to say, I got nothing done at home because of it. I have a few hours this afternoon to do some laundry and pick a room to clean before rehearsal. Then it's a quick jaunt down to Sarah's to try on a dress, then straight back home to bed.

The David's Bridal in Norridge has been hiring for the past month or so. I have an application at home, and I hope to drop it off this weekend. Here's hoping something will come of this. If it doesn't, quite a few places in Golf Mill were hiring for seasonal workers. Seasonal is something, at least.

My boss is in the office today. He should not be here. It is his day off. It is my day to get work done that I can't do when he is around (mostly because he throws other things on my plate and thus delays what I would be doing otherwise), so this is irritating. He also somehow injured one of his hands, and should be home taking care of it so he can oh, I don't know, play the organ again. Blargh.

So stupidly hungry. And lunch isn't for another hour and a half, at least. Curse you, unfillable stomach!

I thought I was up to 4K words for NaNo. I'm actually at a bit over half that. That's somewhat depressing. Then again, I was never a good estimator. Either way, it's more than I've written in probably a year and a half. Pretty much everything I've written since the engagement has been list-oriented. So this is something.

My mother's birthday is today, but we went out for sort of an impromptu birthday gathering last night. It kind of fell together. But it was a nice evening overall. Mom seemed to have a good time (though she also seemed a little anxious. I do not blame her. The restaurant was near the home Hans was staying at for much of October), and I know the rest of us did. I had a pumpkin pie martini (delish) and Sally had a "pink punk" martini, which consists of basically a cosmopolitan poured over cotton candy. I recommend that everyone try it at least once, if you are of a girly martini bent. They can be found at TGIFridays.

I have about an hour before I have to start getting ready for work. I should work on thank you cards. I know that will not happen. I do intend to bring them to work to whittle away at during the rehearsals, though. I think that's the best I can do, sans working on them on Fridays. Those bitches can be painful to write, though. The ones I wrote for the sponsors (that I promptly forgot to give at the rehearsal dinner...sigh) gave me a full day's hand cramp. Oh, well.

A few projects to be working on for the next month or so:
--installing vertical blinds in the living room
--hanging curtains/installing blinds in other windows in the house
--getting cable installed in the bedroom
--purchasing and setting up curio cabinet
--moving dining room table from south side to house
--purchasing small room heaters for back bedroom and living room
--finishing all walls (i.e. painting)

This can all feasibly get done before the New Year's bash. Should we work diligently (ha), they could even be done by the next gaming day. We shall see.

More coffee, then shower, then...something fun, I suppose. Don't quite wish to be productive today.

November 9 -- Back to work
November 10 -- Mom's birthday
November 13 -- Cathedral Gala
November 14 -- Gala recovery
November 15 -- possible south side family dinner
November 20 -- Social Security office to change name (?)
November 21 -- Kat's housewarming
week of November 23 -- eight hour shifts M-W OR work Sunday to compensate for Thursday and Friday
November 26 -- Thanksgiving
November 27 -- Black Friday (we wants a TV)
November 28 -- Melanie and Mark's wedding

December 5 -- possible Gaming League Day
week of December 6 -- work schedule craziness due to Cathedral Christmas
December 11 -- Cathedral Christmas
December 12 -- possible Dinner Party
December 24 -- Midnight Mass
December 25 -- Christmas
December 27 -- Pat and Colleen's wedding
December 28 -- recovery
week of December 27 -- eight hour shifts T-Th to compensate holidays
December 31 -- start ST Days

Busy busy busy!

Have not sung with the choir since mid-October. Feel weird going back, especially since it's a big Mass (90th anniversary!), and I am only somewhat prepared for it. Should just jump on in, I guess.

One of our cats was sick a few weeks before the wedding; he wasn't eating a lot. Then he started getting better. He ate more, was much more active. He even chased the laser pointer for Lowell, something he hadn't done for a while. He'd been spending most of his time hiding behind the bed or in the curtains.

When we got back from honeymoon, he was all skin and bones, and he was a large cat for much of his life. The vet today said he has liver problems and we cannot afford the amount of treatments he'd need. He is going to get put down tomorrow evening.

This is triggering all the grief I haven't been able to express from Hans. I'm getting my finality here, I guess. Both a good and a bad thing.

Time to go cry some more. Lowell and the Mr. Man are almost home.

Quite a few things have happened in the past few weeks. That seems to be putting it mildly.

I. Wedding!

I am happy. Many brides and grooms don't feel that way after their wedding, but I do. Everything came together and worked. Things went wrong. They're destined to go wrong. But most things also went right. And those things that went wrong? They still worked.

The first thing that went wrong was that our priest called in sick. As he's a friend as well as a priest, we knew it had to be bad that he wouldn't show up for the wedding (he went into the hospital a day later and was there for three or four days). But praise be that I work at the church I was marrying at. The pastor was kind enough to step in and say a beautiful wedding, adding personal touches I didn't expect. It was great.

The flowers and the limo were late, but they were there in enough time to be ready to go at 4:00 PM. And both were gorgeous. My bouquet hasn't really died yet. I'm protecting it by putting it in the back bedroom so the cats don't eat it. I will most assuredly hang onto it until it cannot be saved.

The Mass was amazing. The choir was fabulous, my instrumentalists were flawless, and the service itself was beautiful. I smiled, I laughed, I cried, I was touched. I felt the most love there, between the family and friends that came to celebrate with us, and all those who simply came to share the Mass with us.

I am extremely excited to see our photographs. We took them in this garden/arbor area across from the hotel, and I think they're going to be amazing. We did not take as many family photographs as we probably should have, but we got enough.

The reception was a great deal of fun. Our nerdy music, played during the cocktail hour, was a little quieter than I wanted it to be, but we caught a few tracks that made our friends laugh. I think that was ultimately our goal with it, actually. Dinner was delicious. It was great to wander to each of the tables and chat with everyone, even if only for a few minutes. Our DJ was awesome, no doubt about it. I did a lot more dancing than I anticipated. Our friends amazed me, as they were on the dance floor practically the whole night. I got to do a kickline with my aunties, and managed to dance not a few songs with many of my lovely ladies. Kate, Sarah, Louise and I had fun with All for You by Sister Hazel. And amazingly enough, I was able to walk back to my hotel room in the same shoes Kate strapped on my feet around 3:00 PM that afternoon. Needless to say, my toes were numb for a few days afterwards.

I am still reliving parts of the wedding any chance I have. This is a good sign.

II. Hans

As I mentioned before leaving for Hawaii, Hans passed away the day after the wedding. According to an update posted by one of Hans' cousins on the website he made to share information, he fell into a coma on Sunday during the day, and died that evening. The wake was this past Wednesday and funeral the following day. Lowell and I missed it, since we were told by just about everyone to go to Hawaii and knew we would probably not have another opportunity to go. I heard many good things about how both events went, and I'm glad for all the people who were there to support the family. Because I was not there for the "finality" parts, I still am kind of in denial. I know it's happened, but it doesn't feel real yet. I don't know when it will.

III. Honeymoon

Hawaii is as gorgeous as I'd been told. It was odd to be somewhere green and flowering at the end of October, but not bad. We ate breakfast early every morning on a terrace, usually with birds as company. We spent a great deal of time in the car seeing the area, in the hotel room relaxing, and in malls (though not always shopping). I insisted we go to the beach one morning (before it got too hot), and actually got Lowell to go into the ocean, which he liked. I did not spend as much time by the pool as I would have liked, but that's something to remedy should we ever go back.

The most "adventurous" thing we did was to drive around the northern part of the side of the island we were on. We found out later that some rental car companies do not allow their renters to drive this road. We do not blame them. The road is a state highway up to a point, and then becomes a one lane paved road. Not one lane each way, but one lane period. We had to pull over to what little shoulder there was quite a few times to let other drivers by, and we had to back up once to let another driver by because there was no shoulder. When we did that, we backed into a signpost, but the rental car company didn't catch the slight damage (mwah ha ha). Not only was the road one lane for about 20 miles, it was also comprised mainly of almost hairpin turns. We took some great pictures for the first hour of this, and then gave up for the second hour. Yes, it took us two hours or more to go about twenty miles. That's how careful one had to be on that road. Never never never want to do that again. Thank God we got the pictures we did, because I will not go back to do it again. Glad we did it, I'll admit, but never again.

So glad we went, despite the feelings of almost betrayal I was feeling by not being there for the wake and funeral. I got in the relaxation I needed.

IV. This week

Obviously it has not happened yet. But many things will happen:

--Autumn cleaning (and cleaning out) of the house
--shopping (and clubbing/dinner another night?) with Maryam, who is in town until the end of the week
--starting thank you cards
--working on NaNo (started on the plane back from Hawaii)
--random WoW stuff

Then it's back to work on Monday the ninth. Whew.

So it's time to get working on the kitchen. We got more than a few kitchen things at the wedding, and I want to make sure we have room for it all. After the kitchen, it's tackling the "master" bedroom (it's the same size as the other, so it's weird to call it the master bedroom proper), then the bathroom, and we'll see where we go from there. Lowell is getting a new phone today come hell or high water, and I want to get a few things done before I shove him out the door to do that.

I got the call a little over an hour ago. Hans has indeed passed away. Thank you all for all your love, prayers, and support. It means a great deal to all of us. My sister is on her way here, and then we'll go over to where he is with my mother.

Wedding went well; will post about it upon my return.